So, I think I might begin using this blog as a real means to communicate. I've had this site for about eight months now, but have not really known how to use it. A number of my friends, however, use blogger and well, if they can do it so can I.

School is ending this week and I'm really not sure what comes next for me. I really don't want to waste my time taking classes that aren't benefiting who I am and what I want to do in life. I've wanted to be a writer for longer than I've been able to write. I used to "pretend" write -- I would make scribbles and dot some i's and cross some t's. I have always loved stories and I want to write and publish some day. I was a little discouraged when I wasn't accepted at PSU. I had a great application with letters from Faculty that work there and yet I still wasn't accepted. It's not so much the rejection as the hault in my plans that leave me wondering where to go from here. Should I just write and not pursue further education at this point?

I've had an opportunity to teach at my church and that's been fantastic, although between work and school I have struggled to find time to do the outside work the class needs in order to thrive. I have wanted to go to Butler University since I was accepted in March of 2003. I was all lined up to go too, ticket paid for, books for the semester bought. My husband at the time encouraging me to go - and then I found out the real reason for his support. He wanted me gone so he could spend time with his girlfriend. I felt guilty for even wanting to go to school. The only problem with Butler University is that it is in Indinapolis, Indiana. Otherwise, I would be there in a heartbeat.

The potential for further education here is dwindeling. I am not impressed with the offerings of the Seminary I've been attending and I don't feel like it is bettering my person to go there. The Psychology teacher here on campus has been trying to work with me for about a year and has recently extended a position to work in his office. Counseling --I always laid that thought to rest because there are so many wannabe counselors out there. But, what if I could do that? What if I could help people realize foundational truths about their lives and inspire them to resolve their issues and keep truckin on? That is what I hope to do through writing; that is what I've been able to do through my writing class. Maybe that is a possible new direction for me.

I also have a new relationship in my life and I don't want that to just be another "thing" to have to do. I want to give an appropriate amount of attention to this person and this relationship. I don't want to fill up my days so that they are so thick the last thing I want to do is think through relationship issues. So, what to do with all of these ideas swimming in my head? Rest, pray, do what needs to be done, and find time to wrestle through these thoughts.