Come as you are

UK Music Video Sign Language- click this for link to video

2011-03-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

It was late on Saturday night. My co-worker, Jennifer and I shared a room and when neither of us could sleep we decided to see what was on at 1:30 in the morning.

We found a gem. After 1am the Music Video Channels start showing music videos with signers. I was sure it was made more funny by our jet-lag, sleep deprivation and anxiety for the trade-show the next morning. But, not - I recently looked this up on You Tube.

Just as funny. It's really kind of unbelievable.

We've moved!

2010-04-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

We searched high and low, throughout Portland, Gresham and even some houses in Vancouver that were in our price range. November 30th we found it. Two long months of offers, counter offers, inspections and appraisals followed. We knew this house was different than the others. We knew it was the one -- partly because it was the first house that I was truly able to hold with open hands. My hope was pinned on the Lord and not the house. So my hope didn't waver as the house made it's circutous path to our waiting hands. I think the Lord was waiting for me to get to that place so that he could bless us beyond what we could imagine.

We signed on February 2nd -- actually Tre signed for both of us. I was walking through the streets of Rome as he signed both our names: Kelly E. Wilbanks by James Tre Wilbanks Attorney in Fact on every single line. I think that it was the Lords gift to me. I'd been pushing this home purchase so hard. I'm the one borrowing, getting all the necessary documents to our Loan Officer, handeling all the corresondence between us and our realitor -- trying to plan a budget around a new mortgage and additional utility bills --the weight was very heavy. I even took a weakened away at one point in the process to just reconnect with the Lord about the whole thing. Being away for the final steps of closing left room for (an entirely capable) Tre to step up to the table and take care of business.

The Lord has truly blessed us with this home. Before we could get financed for the house the bank had to put on a new roof, decomission the oil tank, put in a new gas furnace, put in a new gas water heater, build a firewall in the garage, fix the dryrot in the laundry room and the bathroom and put in a new tub and surround. The house also appraised for $10,000 less than what we offered so we're monthly payments are only $160 more than what we were paying in rent in South East Portland. We'd looked for rentals in the Gresham area before and hadn't found anything (that let us keep our dog and cat) for the price we're paying for our mortgage.

We are also closer to our church and our home fellowship. People have stopped by to see our place and help us unpack. It's so nice to be in a location that people can casually visit. We felt so alone out in Johnson Creek. We loved our little home, but this one gives us room to stretch and grow. We just feel so blessed.

Here are some pictures of our new little nest.

This the really gay color I painted our front door. (Don't worry I repainted it the nice red color in the first picture).

Our house is number 100. I think it probably was the 100th house we looked at. We are so grateful and can't wait to get it up to snuff so we can have people over for dinner. Mamma Lane even suggested a camp-out in our back yard. It's definately big enough. :) First things first though -- we are going to have a big celebration when Tre graduates. It will be a Birthday/Graduation/House-warming Party -- I'm thinking May 15th, but I've got to double check with him. He graduates May 14th!

Keep you posted!

Dreaming

2009-10-11T13:45:00.001-07:00

I had a dream earlier this week about Nick. In my dream, I was trying to steal Amber's journal (Amber is the woman he cheated on me with). I snuck into their apartment and calmed down a big German shepherd who was guarding their place. I opened her dresser drawer and found dozens and dozens of journals. I was elated and a bit overwhelmed by my find. I tried to locate the journal she kept during 2003-2004 when the affair happened. I was skimming through her journals when I started panicking. The journals started fumbling out of my hands onto the floor. I grabbed one at random, stuffed the rest back into the drawer and left immediately.

I was just down the hallway of their apartment building when I heard them coming up the stairs. I hid behind a bend in the hall and watched them go into their apartment. I opened the journal to see what she'd written. To try and understand what was going on in her head when she pursued Nick and/or responded to his advances in those months preceding my discovery of their affair. I opened the journal and must of opened my eyes too. I was suddenly in my bed, awake, with a yearning to go back to sleep and discover the juicy secrets that lay in the red spiral bound notebook I'd stolen.

I want to know. I want to know what preceded the adultery, the deceit and eventual demise of my marriage. I know I am in a much better place now, but my subconscious still wonders. It wonders what I did, what he did and what she did. The only one who probably knows the whole truth is Butters and he just won't talk. I find myself searching for answers on the internet - maybe they have a blog, maybe a facebook or myspace account. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I look. I wonder. I wonder how they can move on in the face of what they've done, of who they are, of who they've hurt.

I know they deserve each other and yet my heart yearns for some kind of sentiment that they know that.

I had another dream, years ago now, about them. It was very soon after I found out about their affair. Again, I was sneaking into their apartment - I think I was hiding in the closet, wanting to see with my own eyes that it was real. To believe they truly were together. Nick, at the time, pretended that he was leaving me only because he didn’t want to be married anymore. I knew it was partly that and partly because he had this other girl in his pocket. I spent a few solid months working to expose this, which I eventually did. In my dream, I watched them interact from the slats in a hall closet. They didn't do anything spectacular. Again, there was a dog. He exposed my hiding place and Nick ordered me to leave.

When I woke I realized that I was now on the outside of their relationship. It was one giant step in recognizing that my marriage was over. It wasn't all about me and Nick anymore -- I was the third wheel; I really wasn't wanted anymore and I had no power to change that.

I think the dream I had this week is another step towards acceptance. It is acknowledging the yearning I have to see that they are unhappy and recognize what they did was wrong and hurtful. Even though I know these are not things I should be seeking, it's been damn hard to satiate the desire for them.

I stopped writing this blog because either Nick, Amber or a Nick supporter wrote a few disparaging comments on a blog entry I wrote a few years back. I became aware that unfriendly eyes read this stuff too. I also feel like people have this expectation, now that I'm married, that my divorce and the pain of it all dissipated into the atmosphere with my new husband. Or maybe I have that expectation of myself. Having your face ground into dog shit and then getting handed an ice-cream cone, doesn't change the fact that your face was ground into dog shit. There is residual pain that will continue to haunt me -- exposing it and sharing it diminishes its affect. Hiding it and pretending like everything is wonderful now that I am married does not. I accept that mean people read what I write too and I choose to let that go. I want to be honest here.

I am in counseling now. Not because of what Nick did to me - but because I have a hard time trusting people with my real self. The leadership team at Core Life Church suggested that I start it this summer. They’ve seen me running in circles, getting lost, getting angry - getting hurt. Angry at myself for letting it all spiral out of control, angry at myself for not reigning it in and accepting Tre's good and true love as a solvent for my frustrations. I’m angry at God for not being that healing balm that's promised in scripture and also at myself for not accepting that healing balm that's promised in scripture.

I need a place to share my life without a façade; a place to share my true self. This blog started out that way and it can be that way again. Come as you are -- broken, weary from the winding roads that brought you here; courageous and unafraid to expose things as they are and to deal with them in real time. I want that. I want to stop pretending.

Super Heroes

2009-05-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

My favorite Hymn

2009-05-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

So I think this things broken...

2008-10-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

My Guys

2008-04-28T16:38:00.000-07:00

These are my guys -- All three of them got haircuts this weekend. I'll post more later.

Check out today's Columbian

2008-03-06T14:54:00.000-08:00

I see England, I see France

2008-02-07T16:39:00.000-08:00

So, I've been gone for ten days traversing through England and France. The picture to the right is one of me showing off my chopstick skills -- after a couple glasses of sake. Not bad, I have to say. :P I'm holding a glass eye made my one of the exhibitors at our tradeshow convention. I was surrounded by glass eyes, (almost) nude models being body painted and famous makeup artists like Rick Baker... anyone see a Werewolf in London, or Nick Dudman -- Harry Potter anyone? The tradeshow was a success - it was stressful and a lot of work and it was so nice to have France to look forward to.

We got to spend a night in downtown London. We being my co-workers Cheryl and Jennifer who I also went to Nice with. This is me at Trifalger square in front of one of the four lions. Yes, I did climb it and got some pictures taken, but none of them turned out. We had dinner in a pub -- fish and chips and a pint of cider and did a short walking tour of Westminster, Trafalgar square and the eye of London. We crossed the Tames river and took a tube ride getting as much London in as possible in four short hours. Then it was off to Nice.

This is the view from our villa in France. We got to see some beautiful sunrises and sunsets from this location. When we got to the house after a fairly treacherous ordeal involving me becoming our sole driver in France --lots of windy roads. I closed my eyes on our flight home and all I saw were potentially hazardous, incredibly narrow poorly paved roadways. The pictures below is of the some of the beautiful flowers from the market we found one of our (as stated before) treacherous rides. It was definately a breath of fresh air to get out of the car and onto to two fairly solid feet.

Here is a dorky hat I found -- not quite a berate, I'm not sure quite what it is. Funny enough - my friend Cheryl kept saying that "I'm definitely part of the myspace generation," which means I like to take pictures of myself. We all exchanged photos at the end and I blushed deeper and deeper as not one, two or even three narcissistic photos were revealed, but like eleven. Oh myspace!

So, next I met Adam Et Eve. Here is me holding their hands - I tried swinging, but they were too close together. This picture was taken when we were in Monte Carlo. I gambled five Euros and enjoyed a very expensive lunch in front of the casino. It was ridiculous. Then we walked through the mall - I couldn't even afford socks at that mall. We started feeling like Nice was the Canal street of France. Oh, quick note -- wine and sparkling wine are both cheaper than milk -- I guess that depends, but we got pretty good wine for less than the bottle of milk we got. Good thing because we went through a lot more wine than milk.

Below is one of the sunsets we caught on the coast of the Mediterranean. I didn't go skinny dipping -- too cold and not private enough. But I did gather stones for jewelry making and drank red wine as the sun went down. So beautiful -- I am so blessed to have had this experience.

Christmas + 1

2008-01-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

Palaces and France oh my

2008-01-09T15:05:00.000-08:00

So, here it us -- the Alexandra Palace. The home of IMATS London 2008 and my place of work on January 26th & 27th. This is where the international makeup artist tradeshow, hosted by Makeup Artist Magazine will take place. I will be working the booth, dealing with foreign currency and making sure everything is just right for the big show.

It's coming up -- we leave on Wednesday, January 23rd and fly back on February 2nd. I'll be gone 10 whole days, the last four of which, I get to spend in Nice, France with some of my co-workers.

I remember watching an Alias several years ago where Sydney Bristow got to do an operation in Nice, France and I decided then that I wanted to go there; silly - yes, but here's my chance. The flight is a nominal fee and the housing is free. Yeah for friends with homes in the south of France -- we just love 'em. Well, I'll keep you posted on all my happenings -- I'm sure to have more than a few pictures to post when I get back.

Thanksgiving!

2007-12-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

I took more pictures than even this loosely stacked pile. I put this on the blog to show you my amazing Butters and how still he sat for the camera. I took at least ten photos - some of them with a flash and he just sat there, looking at me, waiting for me to be done. He's such a great kitty. Below this picture is a shot from a little mishap we had at Thanksgiving. Butters was relaxing on the couch next to my mom as we sat knitting and watching Christmas movies. Before long we started smelling something burning. I had candles lit all over the house so ran around to check those first and then came back to the living room. The smell was stronger in the living room and as I walked closer to Butters I realized his tail was sitting just above a candle. It was on fire, but it was definately singed as you can see in the photo. He wasn't even phased - he actually seemed annoyed when I picked him up, took this picture, and then went and cut the burnt hair off. He's such a docile animal. He's sleeping next to me by the window right now -- I just wished he wouldn't freak out on car-rides b/c then he'd be a great dog.

Here is Tre carving up the turkey; it was amazing, as was the whole meal. It was really fun to prepare it all with him. We made two pies (apple & pumpkin), my mom's cranberry salad, stuffing, mashed potatos and a 22lb turkey.
Here's a shot of the family in front of our almost decorated tree. I love the PJ shot!

Go Elf Yourself!

2007-11-20T10:39:00.001-08:00

Check out my Elf! I did this last year -- but it's still great. Have a great Thanksgiving and be sure to Elf yourself in time for Christmas.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9558141876

Kelly

My Ode to Fall

2007-10-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

My Ode to fall.

So, I decided to go to Michael's after work a week or so ago to get some picture frames and decide to not only get frames, but enough crafts to keep me busy until Christmas. Lots of yarn, leaves, wreaths, pinecones, pumpkins, Christmas lights, oh and a few picture frames later I was good to go. I got home and began making this masterpeice. - the frame as $1.99, the leaves 4.99 (and I had enough left to have a significant garland to hang elsewhere, pumpkin scented pinecones and pumpkins 2.99 (I used the rest of the pinecones to decorate a pumpkin candle and put on a Christmas wreath and then I got the sunflower heads for $1.00. It was only $11 and I had a lot of stuff I could use elsewhere. So this is a picture of it hanging on the door of my house.

My little hummingbird is still sitting on her nest, which I have to say is quite a feat given our recent weather. The rain has come down in spades the last few days. I have to say - I like that much better than the weak Portland mist. Give me a downpour or give me nothing.

Tre and I have been involved in a class called IMarriage. We really like it and the people who are taking it with us. The content of the series is really right on to - which isn't always the case with Christian seminars. We have been going to that weekly and are being blessed by what we are learning. Tre and I are also going to be prayer leaders at our church. We're really excited to be part of the first team at Coram Deo to do this. It's something that will benefit the body of Christ and us as well. I know I don't pray nearly enough during my day, but being accountable to pray will help me push through that. Prayer is a funny thing -- I used to think if I didn't ask God if I could/should cross the street that I was blotting him out of my life--then the pendelumn swung the other direction. I really seek balance, but that's hard when you have an all or nothing personality. I have always struggled with little things - it's the big things that are a cake-walk.

My friend Charity told me about a website called www.getmortified.com. It's a place where people can post diaries they wrote when they were little kids and sometimes they have meetings where people can read there stuff in front of an audience. I located my journals and began to read through all my childish angste - I have a Sunday screening and hopefully Charity and I will both have a chance to share the emotional ups and downs of childhood with the audience we crave. :)

On Saturday I am going to Don Miller's writing seminar at the Hollywood Theatre. I'm way excited - I have to read a book called Plot and Structure by Saturday though - I called 13 bookstores yesterday looking for the book, but ended up having to borrow it from MBC's Library -Thanks Pam! I wanted my own book so I could write all over it. Now I have to be careful, but at least I'll be ready for the class.
I get to work on education for the IMATS again this year. I was in charge of it last year and Michael said it was much better than it had been in previous years. Tre got to go with me to LA, but I don't think London is in the cards for him. :( Yeah, I said London -- I have been on the phone with a couple makeup artists in that area already and I think it's going to be a great show. Well, I better go.

Happenings

2007-10-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I have posted something. Not much has been happening - oh, who am I kidding stuff is always happening, it's just not happening to me as of late. I last wrote mid-summer and now we are fairly well into fall. The leaves are changing and the clouds are rolling in and the rain is pouring down. Sitting inside my cute little house with an afgan and a cup of joe, reading Uncle Tom's Cabin (my latest read) sounds so good to me right now.

Me and my wonderful Grandma!

Tre and I went down to Santa Cruz, California for my Grandma's 88th birthday. We had lunch at a beautiful resort on the coast (where my cousin Steve got married in 2006 and where my parents tried to chop down their first Christmas tree -- great story, ask me about it some time). My Grandma was delighted to see everyone and she really took to Tre - by the end of our visit she was showing him the "right" way to brew tea and she gave us one of her beautiful paintings. Tre kept saying, "your Grandma is so precious."

We tried to go the boardwalk, but it closed at 10 and we got there too late to ride the rollercoaster. One of these days we'll do it. We had Katie take a picture of us outside of the locked down boardwalk. Isn't it romantic?

Speaking of romantic... Tre and I went to dinner for our 77th day anniversary. We were seated for a good five minutes before we realized that the restaurant had personalized our menu. Tre and I dressed up and had a great time. I love him sooo much -- He sent me flowers at work too. He's sent me flowers at work twice before - he sent me a peace lilly when I was having a hard time with my boss one day and a yellow rose after our first date. He is so thoughtful...
Happy 77th Day Anniversary

I found a nesting hummingbird at work. She's been sitting on her eggs for about a month now, so I'm getting worried that they're duds. She'd know, I just keep hoping they end up hatching. It seems like a weird time of year, but I'm probably worrying for nothing.

Here is a picture of her.

Butterz iz fa-mouse

2007-08-28T11:15:00.000-07:00

Butters is going to be famous! Well, as famous as a picture like this among thousands like it can be. Isn't he cute? Becca Sue showed me and several others at our Inkling House dinner a website where people have sent funny pix of their cats making weird faces or in weird positions. In this shot it looks like he's got a bit of a go-tee -- he really has an outbreak of kitty-acne -- who knew cats got zits.

I have some better shots of Butters at home-- like when I was trying to toilet train him. :)

He's four years old now! Such a big guy- but not fat. Some of the cats on this website are just grotesque. Butters really is just fluffy - ask my sister. She brushed him for almost two hours last weekend, filling up four brushes full of hair and half a garbage can. That was after a bath that plugged up our tub because of all of his hair. What do you guys think of shaving him? I've never done it because I heard it can mess them up, but I'm getting sorely tempted these days.

Butters has adjusted well to Tre. Tre, of course, has bought him all sorts of little toys to make their bonding sure. My sister even bought him some Organic catnip -- all she got for her troubles was a scratch on her hand and a hyper Butters with eyes as big as saucers.

All in all - Butters is adjusting from his nearly month long abandonment of him -from June 20th to July 14th. He began talking to himself - Lisa claims he'd sit on the porch in front of our house and make all sorts of kitty comments back and forth. He's a long way now from his near break-down. He and Tre are buds and we're all adjusting to life in our new house. We've definately decided to wait at least until spring for a puppy.

My life as Kelly Wilbanks

2007-08-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

So, my life as a married woman has paced itself much better than the crescendo that was the end of my single-hood. This is a picture of me on the phone - I'm sure I am making an important call, since I took the time to take a picture with the webcam on my work laptop. Speaking of work - I got a promotion and I am now a full-fledged employee with Key Publishing Group. I found out about that just before I got married - it was great knowing I would be coming back to a secure position and a more substantial paycheck. Oh, and I get health care coverage as well, which was something I gave up at my other job after finding out I had cancer. Fortunately, by God's goodness - I was able to have my medical bills covered by insurance for the month of May -- when I had surgery and am now back on board with Health coverage - hardly missing a beat. God has been able to work miracles for me on that end. I almost have my bills paid off at the Petroff Clinic -- where I got plastic surgery. I have paid off the cost of my biopsy - and now am just waiting for the bill from the doctor who removed my cancer. One bill at a time -- and I've had insurance working with me all this time to cover these bills.
God is good.

This is a picture of Melody and I at Becca Sue's wedding in June - aren't we cute. Speaking of weddings - I'm going to Steve Brock's wedding tonight, I'm in a wedding next weekend - yeah Laura and Rod, and Kim and Daniel are getting married on the last day of the month. I have weddings every weekend for the rest of the summer.

Tre and I have really enjoyed getting settled into our new home. It's so nice to have a house - Butters loves being able to run around. Last Sunday Tre and I walked over to the lot that we thought about purchasing when I was on a house-buying kick. When we last saw it - it had someone squatting in it (living w/o paying rent) - it had a deck with burn marks on it where angry renters had left their mark and a fairly rocky foundation. Now the front part of the house is there, but a new foundation, walls and three levels. I think it's going to look great when it is all done - but, boy had that house been spoiled before.

So, this is me as a Simpson -- what do you think? I couldn't find a button that had freckles - an essential to any recreation of myself. Oh well - I've seen Simpsonized versions of people everywhere and had to do it myself. Well, I better get back to work- my lunch break is almost over and I haven't had a chance to read from my current book Uncle Tom's Cabin. Now, that I've finished the Potter series (in record time mind you - I blew through the entire series in two weeks), I want a little more than lit-candy.

Well, take care and have a great weekend.

Just reconnecting

2007-07-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

So, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I think most of you know that life has been pretty full lately. After surgery to remove cancer on my nose, my new job: which has included a trip to New York and LA, a trip to Disneyland and one of my close friend's weddings - my big wedding day came. I've been told it was a real classy wedding and reception and I think this picture say's it all. I'll write more soon, but our lack of internet and being on our honeymoon has made all that a bit difficult. I will write and share photo's of our honeymoon - we had a blast. We went into the deep, dark woods, we went on a jet ski, stayed in a cabin, went to slidewaters and winetasting. It feels like we did it all. It was a wonderful vacation and I got to take it with the man I love. Now, I'm just setting up house and enjoying married life. I'll resurface soon -- I promise.

Slow Down

2007-05-29T10:12:00.001-07:00

New York was crazy. I wish I'd been in a better place health wise. I got my stitches out on Thursday afternoon and then flew to NY early the next morning. I had a pretty ugly skin graft going through various stages of healing while I was there. It was a dark purple for the majority of my time in New York. I forgot about it for the most part, until a kind New Yorker would say, "Hey miss - you got something on your nose!"

I did get to do some touristy things while I was there -- I shopped on Canal Street, and went to the top of the Empire State Building, got lost on the Subway -- asked the New York fire department for directions when I got lost.

We ate at some really fine restaurants - and it was all paid for, which was really nice. Fortunately, there was a guy on the trip who'd never experienced New York before; unfortunately he was a guy :) It would have been nice to see more of New York, but didn't want to cause any weirdness -- no carriage rides through Times Square etc... :P

Times Square was amazing all lit up -- Another thing I was amazed at was all the cheap shopping, maybe the women I was with just knew where to shop, but I was impressed by all the deals.

I feel like I haven’t had a moment to breathe in all of this. There has been so much transition and there will be so much transition for the next couple of months. Sometimes I feel I can hardly breathe from the weight of it all.

Tre and I have been moving our stuff to our new house. I think he was shocked by all my books - I'm shocked by all my books. He's living there now and I'll be joining him in 38 days. It's such a short distance away and is compounded by the fact that I'm in a wedding in 2 1/2 weeks and I'll be going to LA between now and then for 10 days.

Life is not slowing down -- please pray that I can stay afloat.

It's over!

2007-05-05T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody, this is Tre. Kelly's taking some time to recuperate, so I posted an update over on my blog for all you who can't wait. Enjoy!

MY KRAZY LIFE

2007-04-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged. Mostly, that's because I feel like I've been surviving my life for the last couple of months and haven't really had the time or energy to engage in reflecting or updating anyone about my life. So, now I have a lot to share. Tré posted a blog earlier today and he decided to share the news via bullet points, so I'll do the same. There is good news and some bad news so stay with me.

1. First, some good news. Some of you know that I've been looking for a new job. Well, after several weeks of debating the timing of this transition with my impending wedding, and then several more weeks of searching, sending out my resumé, and interviewing -- I landed a really great job. I'm going to start a full-time paid internship at Classic Style Magazine as their new Public Relations Intern. In fact, they are flying me out to New York on May 11th to help with a trade show to get my feet wet in the business. I'm really excited for all the potential this job contains and the joy of being able to work in a job that's more in-line with my skill-set.

2. Now, some bad news. This new job is fantastic and a great opportunity, but because it is an internship it's technically a temporary position and does not provide health insurance. The job is definately worth it (have you seen The Pursuit of Happyness?), but the lack of health insurance has become a larger concern recently. I found out on Tuesday, the same day I accepted the internship, that I have skin cancer on my nose. I have had a scratch on the side of my nose for almost eight months and I asked my doctor to take a biopsy of it a couple of weeks ago. After the fact, I felt a little dumb -- a small chunk of my nose was sitting in a jar on the counter and the doctor was telling me I probably picked at it too much and hadn't given it time to heal. I was pretty sure that was the case and I was actually a bit surprised to find out that I have skin cancer. I have basil skin cancer - which is actually a pretty easy cancer to manage. They have a treatment called Mohs (spelling?) where they cut out a small section of the area where the cancer is concentrated and test to see if any of the cancer cells are outside of the circumferance of their sample. If there are cancer cells outside the circle - the doctor takes off a bit more -- until there aren't any cancer cells left. This kind of cancer doesn't go very deep so it should be fairly easy to remove. I have surgery scheduled for Thursday, May 3rd - so you can pray I'm not left too butchered. Fortunately, the editor of the magazine where I'll be working is a makeup artist -- so if I do get butchered, he's offered his services :).

3. More good news! Tré and I found a house. In fact, he's going to move in on May 1st -- that's only weeks away! We're looking for someone to stay with him for the month of May and June -to provide accountability for us. The rent will be $200 for the whole month (a pretty good deal for this area) and it would help us out, so let us know if you're interested or know someone who might be. We'll be able to have Butters - my adorable 15lb cat, thanks to the kindness and understanding of our new landlords and the recommendation given to them by the Sticklers. They said you had wonderful things to say about Butters, Molly-- we thank you! The place has a great yard - so Butters will be able to go in and out as he pleases. Hopefully, he'll be smart enough to stay away from all the dogs encompassing our property. Speaking of dogs -- Tré and I really have the puppy bug -- so we're hoping to get one after we move in and our landlords get to know and love Butters.

4. More good news! We got our engagement pictures back and they are wonderful. If you are thinking about getting married and need a photographer, we recommend Jelani. He's starting his business now -- so he still has prices that are workable for brides and grooms on a budget -- check out his site www.jelanimemory.com. Check who's on the home page :)

5. More good news! I found out last week that I get to go to New York to help promote Classic Style magazine. I get to stay there Friday through Monday and take part in a tradeshow. We're going to stay at http://www.theroosevelthotel.com/ - I've never been to New York and I'm really excited to have this opportunity. The only bummer -- and it's a big BUMMER is that I fly out on May 11th -- so I'll miss Tré's birthday and the pampered chef party that Melody Olsen is throwing Tré in Yakima. Tré completely understands - but we're both sad that we don't get to share in that together. Fortunately, I don't need to travel on our wedding day :P

The good news certainly outways the bad news -- and fortunately I'll be able to utilize the insurance provided by Multnomah throughout the month of May. We're not sure what we're going to do about my health insurance after that because Tré's job doesn't provide spousal health insurance -- but I'm sure we'll do something.

The wedding is coming up quick -- less than three months away. We're getting down to the details of things -- we're getting our invitations printed soon and plan to have them in the mail by May 7th~ Time is flying, but I think we're pacing things out well. I'm so glad we're done registering -- on the one hand it's really fun because you get to shoot things with a gun, but on the other hand -- you start feeling really materialistic - remember we need money for our honeymoon fund, so if you really hate shopping... we won't complain :).

Tré really has been a rock through all of this -- he's been caring when I've needed it most. He's been assertive when I really needed to change my work situation, he's been such a consistent support to me. These last few weeks have been really trying for both of us -- and he's been such an incredible rock. Thank you Tré!

This post is freaking long -- Can you tell I'm a writer... but I wanted to show you one more thing. Here is a picture of the ring that Tré and I designed. It turned out beautifully -- and Jelani's camera really shows that off.

Well -- that's all I have time to share for now --take care and please pray for all these new life transitions and for my surgery on May 3rd.

My Future Ring

2007-02-21T16:28:00.000-08:00

Here are two wonderful shots of my future wedding ring. Yes -- the image is green. It's a wax molding -- the real ring is ready now though and we're going to pick it up Saturday. I don't get to wear it until the day of, but it's here!

Now that we're engaged all of the crazy planning has begun. Within a week we had a church, a reception site, and a photographer. We have a wedding Coordinator and a Reception Coordinator. I have my dress, shoes, veil, slip -- and other accessories. My girls have their dresses and shoes, we've picked out the tuxes. I've bought the flowergirl dresses and a wedding cake topper.

We have flowers left to figure out (well order -- I know what I want) and wedding decorations. Tre and I both have gotten our rings this week and are going up to the church on Saturday to have a look around and begin working things out with both our wedding and reception coordinator.

Oh, and we start marriage counseling next week. It's been such a whirlwind -- sometimes I feel it's coming to slow, sometimes I feel like I need a break, and sometimes it's not coming quick enough.

People have asked me what's different between then and now. There's a lot of differences between my exhusband and Tre', but as I think about it -- I think the biggest difference between then and now is me.

I'm just a different person now than I was then... and I think that's a good thing. I watched the movie "Catch and Release" with Jennifer Garner a couple weeks ago and really connected with a lot of what the main character went through. The basic synopsis of the story was about a woman who's fiance' died two days before their wedding. There is a lot of grief and pain because of that loss, obviously, but as the movie progresses you see that there was more to the woman's fiance' than she knew. You find out, as she does, that her fiance had secrets -- secrets that she would never have found out about without his death.

Her fiance has a large sum of money and a child that he has been secretly paying child-support for. In the end, after things have been resolved - the mother of the child turns to the main character and say's "You didn't have to know about this, you could have had good memories about him and we messed that up for you..." But, that would have been false -- it would have fed the illusion and would have impeded the growth of Jeniffer Garner's character.

I'm honestly glad that I know what I know about my exhusband. I remember thinking that it would have been easier if he'd just died from his cancer -- then at least I'd have good memories of him. Then he could have been my hero instead of my betrayer. But, that's not what I got. I got a difficult, but real dose of reality when I found out my exhusband had cheated on me. That reality -- that truth changed me -- changed me, I think, for the better.

I took a class called "Recovering in Grace" last fall and the instructor talked about absorbing our pain. It's different than relogating it to the side and pushing it away -- absorbing our pain makes us larger people - people who understand how the world really can fall apart. It's been a harrowing experience, but I wouldn't trade that truth for anything.

So, as Tre and I pick colors, decide on rings, and plan out our ceremony -- I have this vantage point -- and it doesn't make things more scary -- it, crazily enough, makes things more solid.

We're Engaged!

2007-01-11T19:00:00.000-08:00

On Sunday morning I wrote in my journal: “I have been divorced two years now today, 01/7/07. Each year, the pain of that day lessens and I’m so glad for that. I know this marker is fading in my life, please fill it with new makers, Abba, new anniversaries.”

Sunday afternoon, Melody picked me up at my house to run errands for Scott’s surprise birthday party. Scott turned 30 on Saturday so Melody was planning a surprise party for him at the A-frame, or so I thought. Melody had been sick for the last couple of days so it made sense, at least to me, that we’d be doing errands that late. She and I went to the World Market to get Scott his favorite beer, to the Dollar Store to get some noise makers, and to Burger King to get him a Burger King crown to wear at the party. Our last errand was to get some posters at the church office to decorate the A-frame.

I’d never been to the church offices before. We drove up and I saw a car that looked suspiciously like Tre’s, but Melody diverted my attention quickly. We walked up a flight of stairs to the office, turned a corner, and walked down a dark hallway.

Melody got out her key, but I could see what was awaiting me in through a window next to the door. The room was lit by candles, silk rose petals covered the table, and Tre’ stood in the corner of the room with a dozen roses. I was shocked. Melody got the door opened and I took a few hesitant steps into the room. I think she said I’ll see you later, as Tre’ came over to the door and helped guide me into the room.

“What a Wonderful World,” was playing in the background and Tre’ led my stunned form into a slow dance as I adjusted to the surprise. A basin of water was on the table, along with soaps and perfumes. He sat me down on the chair and took off my shoes and socks.

Nine months earlier, Tre performed a similar move when he told me for the first time that he loved me. He promised to love me as Christ loves the Church – sacrificially and as a servant. He also told me later that night that he’s always planned on proposing to his wife that way… with a toe ring.

When he sat me down, I knew what was coming. Tre’ added hot water to the basin and knelt down in front of me. Just a warning to all you ladies: always shave!  He washed my feet and said some wonderful, private things. He slipped a toe ring on my foot and then reached for a small, box hidden on the table. Tre’ asked if I would marry him and in my head I said, “I will,” but apparently all that came out was a big smile and vigorous nodding.

After hugging and kissing we stood to take communion together. Tre’ served the elements and then we hugged and kissed some more. We held each other close and danced again; it was good to have a time to absorb the moment.

Little did I know that Tre’ was actually stalling. He showed me the office after that and the posters Melody and I were supposed to get. Then we left the office to go to “Scott’s party” at the A-frame.
We walked downstairs and around the corner to the car. We passed by Café Delirium – all the windows were closed except one. I glanced through it and saw people that I knew. I stopped 10 feet away from the door as I realized that we weren’t going to the A-frame. Our engagement wasn’t part of Scott’s party – Scott’s party was a cover for our engagement.

We walked through the front door of the shop and were greeted by over sixty of our close friends. They cheered and then cheered again when Tre’ said, “She said yes!” I didn’t move from my spot for the next two hours. Friends kept coming up to me – friends from all areas and time periods of my life, friends who know my story and are excited for me and for Tre'.

Heidi and Shari made coffee drinks for everyone, while a slideshow played in the background and people played board games and talked. It was beautiful! I am still recovering from the shock and perfection of it all. Everyone was in on it and it made the evening so wonderful. Thank you all so much for keeping this night secret for me.

After it was all over Tre’ showed me all of the emails he sent back and forth about the party. He told me long ago that it would happen right under my nose – and it did. He handed out invitations to the party right in front of me – he even gave me a fake invitation to Scott’s party while everyone else was invited to our surprise engagement party.

We are getting married six months from the night of our engagement 07/07/07. Tre’ said he wanted a six month engagement – no more, no less. So, mark your calendars.

I couldn’t sleep Sunday night and found myself journaling into the wee hours of the morning. At 2:45am this is what I wrote: “Well Lord, you are one for answering prayer. Tre’ proposed to me tonight and he nailed it. He took a day, a marker in my life and redeemed it. You Lord, took a day that left me shattered and broken and brought me healing. I am awake now and cannot sleep. I just wish morning would come.”

2006-12-15T16:59:00.000-08:00

Boone

2006-11-03T20:36:00.000-08:00

My score on The Which Lost Character Are You Test:

style="font-size:18pt;font-weight:bold;">Boone/>style="font-size:12pt">(You scored 69% kindness, 47% courage, 23% seedy past, and 30% secretiveness!)
/>

"I know you made a promise. I'm letting you off the hook. Let me go, Jack."

You are Boone. You are kind and brave, with a slightly less checkered past than your fellow survivors. You are an open book, and do not keep secrets from anyone. While your humanitarian efforts are chivalrous, being so trusting and helpful can get you into major trouble...especially when you spend your days hanging around John Locke. Stay away from the manipulative types and you should be winning a Nobel Peace Prize in no time.

Your polar opposite is: &Danielle.
You are similar to: &Jack and &Claire.

Link: The Which Lost Character Are You Test
(OkCupid Free Online Dating)

How many of me are there?

2006-10-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
451
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

I was a cat with loads of life experience

2006-10-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

You Were a Cat

You are an independent person who inspires others with your dreams.
A calm protector, you will fight when you need to.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

You've Experienced 80% of Life

You have all of the life experience that most adults will ever get.
And unless you're already in your 40s, you're probably wise beyond your years.

How Much Life Experience Do You Have?

ENFP

2006-10-05T23:14:00.000-07:00

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Star Wars - How do you say Uhura?

2006-10-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

Your results:
You are Uhura

Uhura		100%
Chekov		80%
Deanna Troi		80%
Worf		60%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		40%
Spock		40%
Mr. Scott		40%
Mr. Sulu		40%
Beverly Crusher		40%
Geordi LaForge		40%
Will Riker		40%
Data		28%
Jean-Luc Picard		20%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		20%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		0%

You are a good communicator with a
pleasant soft-spoken voice.
Also a talented singer.

Click here to take the "Which Star Trek character are you?" quiz...

Things have been a bit busy...

2006-09-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been over a month and a half since I've posted anything - let's just say things have been busy. The picture above (or to the left - I never know how these things will post) is of my office crew. We're all wearing our new coats purchased by Tim Uthmann my, now former, boss.

Tim got a jacket for all of us and our new director Ian Durias. The transition has been fairly smooth and I could also see the Lord's hand in the timing of it all. Tim and Rachel were scheduled to leave the first week of September for training in Chicago -- they are planning on serving in Italy with a refugee ministry. Rachel has done something similiar to this in Greece, but Italy is a more central location and in need leadership. Anyways, back to that timing thing.

Tim and Rachel were planning on leaving for training, but postponed their travel due to some significant challenges their church is now facing. The net result is that they are now both assistant pastors at The Pearl. Time, they otherwise would not have had, suddenly became available so they can minister to their church body-- it's exciting to see God's hand in that.

Multnomah has been rocked twice this semester from the dismissal of Steve Patty to the death of Nurse Ellen. It has not been an easy start, but it has been a binding one. I remember the administration gathering the staff and faculty together for a mid-summer meeting to announce our accreditation. It was said then that the road ahead would not be easy - no one obviously forsaw these circumstances arising, but the call to bind together in prayer for the school. Man, how truly necessary that has been.

In the midst of the rain, there is always at least one umbrella. Tre and I celebrated our six month anniversary. He drove his F150 truck all the way from Lincoln City to spend the afternoon with me. We started by getting a cell phones plan and new phones together. Currently he's the only one with my number, and Scott -who I've been warned might prank call me. Then we went to dinner, walked along the water front, and went and got desert. We exchanged gifts - he got me some cute silver bells -- literally that's what the description said and I got him a framed picture of a couple dancing. After desert Tre said he still had half of my present waiting. So we drove home and I waited inside my house while he set things up.

He came inside and then guided me to the backyard. Out on the concrete porch sat two crystal flutes and a mallot. To those of you who may be thinking, "What the heck?" Let me do some preemptive explaining. The crystal flutes in question have the "Stephanie Inn" emblazoned on the front - they were a gift from the hotel I stayed in on my honeymoon. They are also a reminder of what was - and what will never be. Throwing them away, which I'd thought about doing, was kind of like trying to forget what happened. Giving them away felt like I was passing the bad luck onto someone else. But smashing them, smashing them was the only course of action that just felt right.

And smashing them with Tre felt really right. In Jewish custom after the wedding vows are made an item is crushed beneath the heal of the groom- it represents a complete altering of what was, to what is. So, we smashed the hell out of those crystal flutes. And it felt good. (There was no wedding by the way, just in case you were wondering - it's just a metaphor :P ).

We feel good -- I mean Tre and I -- things are going along on their own merry little pace. Tre always says, "We're the best couple in the world," and it's times like breaking glass together that make me agree.

What a weekend...

2006-08-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

Kelly Clarkston getting her groove on at her last concert of her tour.

Well it's Friday and I am just about ready to begin a new weekend. The only problem is that I'm still recovering from last weekend. On Thursday night I recieved word that my Dad was being airlifted to Sacred Heart hospital in Spokane, Washington because he'd had another heart attack. This heart attack is to the day (August 3rd) when he was airlifted out of Spokane last summer -- weird. Tre and I left immediately on the seven hour trip. I spoke with my Dad when he arrived at the hospital and he made it sound like everything was fine, later we learned that it wasn't. He's had significant heart damage and the doctors had to shock him four times to get his heart back on track. I saw him the next morning with all sorts of tubes and monitors surrounding him. He's 6'3" and the bed hardly seemed long enough for his huge frame. He seemed to have more pain from his ankelosing spondolitis (a form of arthritus that I've inherited -- thanks Dad) than anything. He left the hospital on Saturday and I haven't heard any word as to his health since. I know he had plans of going back to work yesterday even though his doctor advised him to take at least two weeks off.

After that crazy ordeal I drove over to Seattle to spend time with my Mom and sister. Katie and I have been planning on going to the Kelly Clarkston concert for months (thanks Mom) and were able to sit back and enjoy a fabulous summer concert. Katie got to take some amazing photos with her new camera and even got to shake Kelly Clarkston's hand. I was pretty stoked for her. I've uploaded a few shots she took during the concert -- the pictures make it look as if we were practically on stage with her. I had a great time with my little sister and then drove the rest of the way home the following morning.

My beautiful sister Katie and me at the Kelly Clarkston Concert.

In a half an hour I'm driving with Lacey to Lincoln City to visit Tre and relax by the beach. Thank you so much to all of you who prayed for me during last weekend. I don't think the outlook is good for my Dad's health and I imagine more emergency trips to Spokane might be in my future. Please keep my family in your prayers as I know each person in my family is affected differently by my Dad's failing health. Also, on another note -- my Grandma Souza (who will be 87 on Sept. 25th) had a minor heart attack last week as well. She's strong, but no one can beat time. A general prayer for my entire family's health would probably go a long way.

hmmm...3

2006-08-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.

And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.

You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.

It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

hmmm...2

2006-08-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

hmmm...

2006-08-09T09:33:00.000-07:00

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

Friends

2006-08-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

The following is a writing exercise that I did shortly after my divorce. The women in the picture above were there for me in every way possible. They comforted me, sheltered me, and even fed me sometimes. They reminded me of God's love for me and that he would be and was my perfect husband. They shared their pain with me so that I wouldn't feel like the only one on earth with such heartache. They encouraged love to be the overflow of my heart and not bitterness. They advised me to let God take care of my ex-husband and his choices and not me. They showed me truth in scripture -- places where God's word says he will be a husband, a savior, and a vindicator. They would not let what happened destroy me and made sure that I was drinking deeply of living water. Thank you women of God.

Kelly, a warrior of Jesus Christ by the will of God.

To the maidens of Multnomah Bible College, the faithful in Jesus Christ.

Passion and purity to you from God our Father and the Lord your maker and husband Jesus Christ.

It gives me great joy to write to you, women of the truth, who have obediently responded to the call that God has placed on your life. You are here at Multnomah learning valuable truths and storing up knowledge that will support the foundation of your Christian faith, so that when troubles come you will not be shaken. For beyond the “bubble,” you will face trials of many kinds from those who do not understand your faith and take no part in the covenants developed within your hearts.
Those of you who tend to the seeds of faith developing in your heart will have strong trees of faith that shelter you from the storms that rage and threaten to destroy you. Let the word of the Lord be rooted in your hearts, let its roots be deep and its height a shelter from the heat of the scorching sun.
Many a heart has been broken by love unrequited or rescinded, for those who put their faith in the strength of men will not prosper. Put your faith and hope in Christ –the author of lives and the protector of souls. Do not open your heart to love when it is not yet time, for it is written:

“O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.”

Give your hearts to the Lord, women of faith. Give your heart to the one who formed it and prepared the muscle to beat within your breast. Do not become snared by the pink mist or lusty diamonds, but prepare your hearts and minds for the ministry that the Lord God has called you to in Christ Jesus. Let God be your counselor, your rock, and the one who shields you from the storms. In him, you can take refuge; in him, you will have courage; in him, you will have the victory. Let your last thought at night be of God. Let your first word in the morning be the name of Jesus. Let not even the birds sing before his name is uttered from your lips. God is your husband, for it is written:

“For your maker is your husband—
the Lord almighty is his name.
The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer
He is called the God of all the earth.”

Be in love with Jesus, women of the faith, be his bride, his friend, and his confidant. Leave false relationships and disillusioned ideas of romance behind you. Love is more amazing than anything you have ever known when the Lord, the gardener of your heart, awakens it. He will bring your love to blossom at the right time, for he is your kinsman redeemer. His is the great and mighty God: a father to the orphaned, a husband to the widowed, and a comfort to those in need.
Look to the women of faith recorded in the word of God. These women are witness and attest to your acts of faith both seen and unseen. Look to Deborah, who led a great army for the Lord, or Ruth, who trusted in the God of Israel even though she was only a Moabitess, or Abigail, who was married to a fool, but out of the goodness of the Lord became a bride of King David.
There are so many more women that I would never finish writing were I to name them all. Look to Sarah, Rebecca, Mary, Elizabeth, Dorcas and many other women of the faith who have proven worthy of our Lord. Look to the women of God around you as models for faith and hope in Christ Jesus.

May grace and peace never leave you. May they be garlands around your neck and a fragrance that draws people close to the God that is at work within your hearts. The truth of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, sisters.

Please send this message onto Moody and Biola University that they may also avoid the snares of the evil one and look to Christ first in their lives.

Dear women, keep your eyes on Jesus, Amen.

Rational...huh?

2006-07-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.
You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!

Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.
In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.

You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.
Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.

In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.

At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.

With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.

As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.

On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

"I'll be your candle on the water..."

2006-07-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of escaping the heat of Portland this past weekend and driving out to visit Tre', who conveniently is keeping residence in Lincoln City at the moment. Saturday we had breakfast on the beach and watched it quickly fill up with Portlanders trying to escape the promised 103-degree day. After that we drove over to Newport where Tre' got to deposit his first paycheck. On our way back we decided

to stop off at a Lighthouse that Tre' sees every time he drives to the Salishan Lodge for work.

The lighthouse, to our delight, was open and we got to take a tour of the recently whitewashed and renovated structure. The tour guides were dressed in turn of the century garb and shared some illuminating facts like that the lighthouse’s light has burned for 104 years straight (the only time it was ever out was during Pearl Harbor). The oil they used to keep the light lit was purified pig fat; it didn’t smell like bacon, but it did coat everything with, a "bacon grease" like substance and had to be cleaned every morning. Not too glamorous.

We got to climb (I think it was 134) stairs to the top and have a look around. So, you’re going to laugh, but Lighthouses always make me think of Pete's Dragon -- remember that movie? I think my little sister owns it - for nostalgia sake. This orphan kid finds a dragon named Elliot who ends up saving the day when the light goes out in the Lighthouse by using his fire making abilities to relight the flame. The main character, Nora (don't worry- I had to IMDB that one), lost her husband at sea and waited, her eyes forever combing the waters, for his return. I remember her singing a song that equated her love with the light of the lighthouse..."I’ll be your candle on the water, my love for you will always burn..." Hmmm… that’s got me thinking.

It seems like women are often compared to stalwart figures like Lighthouses or North Stars or Angelic guides. But, aren't we just as screwed up as any man out there? Aren’t we the one’s looking for a leader? We're looking for men to date, not boys, right? So, why is it a natural assumption that a woman is the one who alone should defend her purity? Does that stem from a misconstrued notion of equality, the idea of autonomy, or an undefined concept of purity? I know, it’s probably all three and several other concepts out there I failed to mention :).

Maybe some would view this as antiquated and/or old fashioned, but Tre’ has told me that he feels it is his duty to guard my reputation. His conviction is not that we do what our conscience allows or keep a rule book and chastise ourselves for messing up. Actually, we have fairly few rules, but we do have an understanding
(underscored by wisdom) that we won't take advantage of each other. I can tell it stems from his love for me and not a love for himself or a rulebook. The idea of defending one’s honor is so backwards in today’s economy; it’s so different, but so right.

Why do we naturally assume that it is only a woman who should defend her purity? At the turn of the century being a gentleman was a good and noble thing – men were not considered a good match if they let a woman’s skin get touched by the sun, let alone allow her honor to be put in question. I’m not suggesting that women crawl back into their gilded cages or perch back upon their pedestals. But, why has the iron mantle of defending one’s purity fallen to the slender shoulders of a woman? Where is the man's role in that and why is their purity something that is hardly questioned anymore?

One thing that I appreciate immensely about Tre’ is that he doesn't hoist the responsibility of our purity on me. He doesn't leave me with a decision to make between practicality and purity. He chooses to sleep in his truck because he wants to honor me. Guess what? He knows I’ve been married before, so it’s not an issue of virginity. The beliefs and philosophies that shape this man go much deeper than that. I thought crossing boundaries and messing up were just part of the package, but that hasn’t been the case. It’s been good, healthy, and so freeing. I feel safe with Tre’ because I know he will do and has done all he can to respect and honor me. I don’t wear the "iron" mantle of purity alone - this burden is light because it is not carried by me alone. Tre's leadership allows my focus to also rest on the importance of his purity -- something he has guarded his whole life. Tre is smart enough to not just rely on himself either - I know that much of what we're benefitting from now is because of prayer, so thank You.

nbsp;

More Zoo Pictures

2006-07-19T23:35:00.000-07:00

Here are some more fun pictures from our day!

Going to the Zoooooooooooooooooooooo!

2006-07-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

Zebras, giraffes, and elephants oh my! Last Sunday my grilfriend Lisa left for a mission trip to Ireland. In celebration, we girls (Lisa, Becca-Sue, and I) went to the zoo. It was fun and I think one of the best things we could have done for Lisa. We got to walk around and just enjoy the animals -- this picture is of us on an elephant bike used by Pacci the Elephant. I almost accepted an internship at the Oregon Zoo in January 2005. I would have had the opportunity to write about Elephant dung and bat droppings galore. I ended up taking the job at MBC instead and that's worked out pretty well for me.

Poof 1 and Poof 2

2006-07-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

I promised at the beginning of this blog to locate an old photo of myself taken after unbraiding my cornrows. I was sixteen and on a mission trip... long van rides, very long rides. The blue backdrop behind me was part of a puppet show program we did at a vacation Bible school. Fun times! The other photo was taken last April. I got my hair braided again by a couple of girls at Multnomah. They did a great job -- 140 braids! It looked a lot better than the first time I got my hair braided, sorry SMT girls (and some boys). I let my unbraided hair poof explode again -- it doesn't seem as dramatic because it's not bleached with sun-in like it was the first time, but I think it's still blog-worthy.

The Inklings

2006-07-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

These lovely ladies are all members of my home community for the 2005-2006 school year. We took this picture after our last dinner together. We ate downtown at an African restaraunt. We got to use our hands, which worked well for me because I by far turned out to be the messiest eater in our house. It was a great year and it is sad now that it has past. Fortunately, most of these girls are returning (we'll miss you Michelle) and we get to have another girl come join us for the new year. I am looking forward to all the hope and promise this next year will contain. It will be year two -- time to dig in deeper and see what we are really made of. It's going to be great. We have a new myspace. So check out the Inklings and make them your friend.

Celebrating the Fourth!

2006-07-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

So, I helped Tre' move two hours away this weekend (map quest says its two and half, but I've easily trimmed it down to two). He has a great apartment with a view of the lake and he's only a half-mile from the beach and the outlet malls. Yeah, so I know I'll enjoy spending half my weekends down there.

Emo, Emo, Emo...I took some pictures while I was at the beach (I kind of like the Emo one) and a picture of Tre' before we went to see Superman on Tuesday.

Tre's dressed as Clark Kent -- he wore a shirt over his Superman shirt, wore glasses, and gelled his hair so he'd have one definite superman curl (much better than the one on the big screen I might add). Superman was GREAT -- it was really well cast and well acted -- a fantastic summer flick. The beginning credits set off the film (think 1977 circa graphics and you're just about there).

The last picture is one of us girls (Sheri, Danielle, Jen and me) on our way to watch the fireworks downtown on the max. I asked the bum sitting across from us to take the shot since he wouldn't stop looking at us anyways. In the vane of take a picture it'll last longer... Anyways, the fireworks were great, Tre' is moved in and working eight hours shifts already. His place is great and I know he'd enjoy visitors.

June 19th --

2006-06-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

Your Birthdate: June 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested.
You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them.
Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others.
You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself.

Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence

Your weakness: Suspicion of others

Your power color: Eggplant

Your power symbol: Spade

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Roses

2006-06-26T23:12:00.000-07:00

On Friday night I fought through traffic and met a tired and hungry Tre' in the Portland Rose Garden. We had a picnic dinner of peanut butter and strawberry preserves (as Tre' pointed out -- not jelly and not jam) and then sauntered around the garden. These are a few pictures we took during the course of the evening. I thought about putting the one of just Tre's eyes and my eye that I took when I forgot the zoom was in on the camara, but decided it wasn't really blog worthy. Let me know if you want to see that and we'll talk.

Butters

2006-06-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

So, Butters had an absess on his neck. I got home on Monday and he had scratched it open and whatever was in there drained out. It wasn't as gross as it sounds, but he's my cat so he just doesn't seem gross to me. I'll even get his eye boogers out; I guess that's a mother's love. :) I gave him a bath and washed his neck with antibacterial soap and hydrogen peroxide. He doesn't even fuss when I get him wet --sometimes I do get dirty looks, but I've never gotten a scratch or a bite. Hopefully, he won't get an infection in that area.

He's been extra cuddely lately. Yesterday, and this morning he poked me in the arm with his nose and snuggled close when I lifted it for him. He's such a sweetheart. Oftentimes I think it's silly when someone makes a prayer requests for their pet -- it bothers me even more when I see food-drives for animals and not for people. But, this cat has been through soooo much with me. I thank God for his spunky little way of doing things and random attachment disorders.

He is starting to warm up to Tre. He even fell asleep in my lap (Butters, not Tre) when Tre and I were watching a movie a couple of weeks ago. This wasn't just curl up in a ball sleeping either -- it was sprawled across my lap on his back, legs extended sleeping. Not many people get to see that. Butters still chaperones Tre and I (when he can) on our walks around the neighborhood. It's rather sweet. Last summer I brought Butters to work during my lunch break and had a friend take a picture of us in the daisies (like Dinah in Alice in Wonderland). There is so much more I could say about him, but I'll stop here.

My Birthday

2006-06-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

So, I actually succeeded in surprising myself today. December 28th, 2005 I wrote a message for my future-self to be sent to me on my 25th birthday. It really made me laugh, enjoy:

Dear FutureMe,

Wow, today is a big day. You are 25 and hopefully on your way to a vacation somewhere exotic. What have you done with your last six months? Are you a better or worse person now than you were then? Has love walked into your life or are you still hell-bent on no-one ever entering into your heart again? How is that book coming? Did you get accepted into graduate school at PSU?? How did Jan. 7 go? Rough? Did you memorize a 100 verses in Psalms? Did you get your second tattoo? How did your class go? Wow - so many questions. You are 25 today. You are a woman who has been through a hell-of-alot - and you have been refined by that fire. You are not scalded, you are purified and have an obligation to live by the truths you have learned about yourself and about life. Go forth and live in truth!

Kelly B.

What a funny message to receive from myself today :) Random -- those who know me will appreciate this immensly.

In answer to some of those questions:

*Yes, I did go somewhere exoctic -- Hawaii for nine days in May

*Question #1 & #2 are too long to answer here -- just yes and no questions.

*Yes, love has walked into my life.

*I am still journaling and processing my story -- book is currently being lived.

*No, I did not get accepted into graduate school -- but I found a better program and I am putting together an application for that program now.

*Jan 7th was the anniversary of my divorce. What can I say? I lived -- I even went to a wedding that day. Katie was there for me as usual and I even went on a random lunch date with a friend from my early school days who repeatedly told me how beautiful I was.

*Yes, I did memorize 100 verses in Psalms. Thank you again Tre' and Lisa for sticking with me the two 1/2 hours it took for me to recite them.

*Yes, I did get a second tattoo -- Midori on my left hip.

*My writing classes (both of them) were fantastic and taught me a lot about who I am as a teacher. I learned as much from them as they from me -- They were both great experiences and I'm contemplating a third this fall.

*Truth --Though it was hard, truth set me free. I live knowing I have an obligation (out of respect for what God has done) to live an examined life and base decisions off of what I have learned. God has asked me to faithful in the things that I can and trust that He's taking care of the rest.

It's kind of weird to get an email from myself, but I'm glad I did it. Maybe I'll send myself a note for this Christmas. Check it out at FutureMe.org.

In other news -- PLEASE PRAY FOR BUTTERS. I found a big lump on his neck last night and I'm going to have to take him to a vet. Hopefully it's just a cyst and is easily drainable (and not too expensive) and not cancer or something else life threatening.

I love my Sacramento Family!

2006-06-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

My nieces are getting more beautiful every single day. Julia has the teeth of a nine year old (she's five and her front teeth have already come in) and Jenai is getting so big (she's not even two yet). Auntie Katie (also known as Bobbee by Jenai) got to go down there this last weekend and she kindly sent me some pictures. Unfortunately, she didn't send any of her and the girls. We'll have to remedy that the next time she goes down. I miss these girls -- I'll see them someday soon. I remember my Aunts and Grandma's always saying, "Kelly, you're growing up so fast. You've got to stop doing that!" At the time I was a bit confused, but now I get it. I won't ask my nieces to stop growing,, but I do hope to see them again before Julia becomes taller than me.

I didn't think Butterflies were animals

2006-06-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

You're a Butterfly!

Fragile and beautiful, you work as a good-luck charm for those
around you. People are always happy to see you and sometimes beseech you to reach
out to them as a blessing for their day. Though you are proud of your reputation,
you strive not to forget your own humble beginnings and remember that not so long
ago, everyone looked down on you. All you can do is appreciate the metamorphosis
you made now that you're on its good side. You adore stained-glass
windows.

Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Oops...

2006-06-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

So, I'm trying to figure this whole blogging thing out and trying to add links on my blog to the blogging sites of my friends so that I can be cool like them and have links to stuff. And what do I do? I give my boyfriend the power to edit and post on my blog. How does stuff like this happen? Fortunately, he hasn't done anything too weird, but a great deal of power has been delivered to his very tech savy fingertips and there is no telling what he'll do. I've done a few pranks on him (Craigslist, forking...) and he's done nothing yet to get me back. So, if you read a blog saying I've joined the army and am being deployed to Iraq -- don't believe it. :) Times like these call for discretion. I'm watching you Tre'. Eyes on You.

2006-06-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

Heheheheheh... Wanna hear something funny? This isn't Kelly. It's Tré.

See, Kelly was trying to invite me to subscribe to her blog. I think this means that I would get e-mail notices when she updates, etc. Anyway, instead of inviting me, she made me a part of her blog. Enough of a part of her blog that I can post new blogs, anyway...

So, here I am. Just thought I'd pop in and say Hi!

Hi!

Sea Turtles

2006-06-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

One thing that I loved about Hawaii was all the Sea Turtles. Sarah and I saw our first one when we were sunbathing on the North Shore. We were out there two hours and occasionally saw something pop its head out of the water. We thought it was an eel or Nessie -- but couldn't quite put our finger on it. We were washing our feet in the water when we discovered (to our delight) that we had met our first bit of tropical wildlife. We named him Ike. The next Sea Turtles we encountered were when we were snorkeling. I tracked this turtle for a while. His name as Ike II -- In the third picture you can see some shell and the light of the surface of the water. That's when I tried to put my arm around him for a close up with my camera and a wave ended up knocking us into the reef. It's a $500 fine for touching Sea Turtles -- so I pushed him off me -- camera hog! and stumbled back to shore with my big flippers, attractive goggles, and saltwater filled mouth.

Rainbows

2006-06-07T16:23:00.000-07:00

I like rainbows because they show up after the fact. The show up after a storm has passed as a bonus for keeping your chin up and eyes on the horizon. Rainbows have always been significant to me.

I remember feeling intense frustration because my mom wouldn't go to downtown Bellevue with me to get the pot o' gold the newscaster’s kept referencing on TV.

When my high school boyfriend and I finally ended our dating relationship (after several attempts at "just friends"), I remember feeling things officially end after seeing a rainbow. We were at a park and talking things out again for the umpteenth time when it started to rain. I started back for the car, but he suggested we ride out the storm. We did and in a matter of minutes it had passed and we got to see a beautiful rainbow. After seeing that, I think we both felt comfort in going our separate ways.

My sophomore year of college I wanted to go to Japan to study Japanese, teach English, and do ministry there over the summer. I wrote a support letter detailing my plans and asking for help, but I hadn't heard back from anyone. I was studying/thinking about my problems in Multnomah's Library and contemplating my next move when I saw a rainbow in the distance. I decided then that I needed to wait on those plans. When I got back to my dorm room someone had written me a check for $10.00 towards my cause. The check had a rainbow in the background, which I took to be further confirmation from God. I didn't cash it, but I asked if I could keep it as a reminder that someday I'll go to Japan.

I was in Hawaii a couple of weeks ago and saw a few rainbows here and there. One showed up while I was learning to surf, another while I was camping on the North Shore. I thought a lot about what the next steps are for my future ~ academically speaking. I have taken four graduate level classes at PSU, but didn't get into their writing program. I got accepted at the Seminary, but this past year has shown me that it is just not the right fit. I wanted to marry my writing with my passion for God's word -- but the two seperate institutions wouldn't unite and I wore myself out trying to get them to fit together. I prayed while in Hawaii and the only response I got back was, "Do what you love."

Great -- do what you love. How vague and hopelessly ambiguous I thought. I wrote out a couple pages of things that I love and want as part of my life in the future in response to the question "what do I love?" I love teaching and I love writing. I knew that before going to Hawaii - so nothing changed there. I admit that someday I want to be a wife and a mother, but I don't want that to be my whole life. I need to be able to do something that can be paired with domesticity. I ended up talking to one of my old Multnomah professors about my situation on a fifteen-minute break that stretched to 45 and left my co-workers worried for my safety. During the course of our conversation he suggested that I do an MFA. This teacher is also the one that suggested that I go to Butler University (so yeah -- semi-big influencer).

I want to do something like Butler, but I don't see where an MA will take me except onto a doctorate program and I don't really want that. I would have to be married to a doctorate program so that thing about wanting to be a wife and a mother would have to be laid to rest. But, I want that too. Professor Schaak ended up confirming a lot of what I knew already and in some ways freeing me to invest in a different future than the one I chose before. In the end said, "Do what you love." Sounds strikingly familiar, huh?

That line again. Do what I love? I love biblical literature; I love reading; I love writing; I love teaching; I love processing through ideas; I love the idea of having a mentor; I love standing up for my faith in dark places; I love chiseling down words until I'm actually saying what I mean to say. I tried to combine my two loves by taking classes at Portland State University and Multnomah's Biblical Seminary, but ultimately it was unsatisfying and they turned out to be a rather disharmonious pair.

So, an MFA? That would be a Master of Fine Arts in writing (fiction, poetry, or nonfiction). My boss sent me a link to Seattle Pacific University's website a while ago because they have an MFA program and he knew of my interest. At the time I was determined to make PSU and MBS work together, but now that I am out of that funk I can see the program for what it truly is -- everything that I want and love. I wouldn't have to move because it is a low residency program so I can stay in the community I am in now. This is the biggest reason why I haven't moved to Butler U. in Indiana. The program naturally pairs Christian-Judeo thought with writing and critically assessing issues. The program is in regards to writing, but holds reading in high esteem. By the end of two years the program promises that I will have read 50-60 books and have written critical essays on most of them.

The program will allow me to "Do what I love." Write & read -- I would have the credentials to teach should the opportunity present itself and it help hone the skills I have as a writer. I feel like this program would give me a window into academic life in the future, but that wouldn’t have to be my life. I am looking forward to applying to this program and seeing where that takes me. I am glad have a direction to flood my excess energy. I am 25 and I’ve figured out a step that will bring me toward all the things I love. Woot! Maybe this is that pot o’ gold.

Okay, so here are some shots of us

2006-06-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

At the end of the game, Tre' came to the rescue by having one of the wives take our picture -- notice Kyle and Micah in the background making the most of their convienent location per camera angle.

Baseballs

2006-06-05T08:53:00.000-07:00

The Beavers won 7-4 against the Colorado Skysox. What a victory. In other news, this was the first baseball game that Tre and I were spotted at together. It must be serious. Alas, when photo time came I was up stretching my legs, or getting free peanuts, or getting kettle corn (my favorite). So, here are the couples and Tre.

Training Butters

2006-06-04T23:34:00.000-07:00

This is Butters in training. Yes, I tried to potty-train my cat. It almost worked, but then the holidays came and people didn't want to share their toilet with our little man in training. He didn't really understand what he was supposed to do, so he just played in his litter box.

Sarah and I

2006-06-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

Here a just a few of the many pictures that Sarah and I took of ourselves while in Hawaii. Some are far more glamorous than others --

Back to the mainland...

2006-06-01T17:45:00.000-07:00

and work, work, work.

So, now I am home

2006-06-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

After swimming with sea turtles, surfing, and gorging myself on Hawaiian's fine dining, I find myself in need of a rest from my vacation. It came in the form of not being able to drag myself out of bed yesterday, so I called in sick and slept until 3:00 in the afternoon.

I didn't know when I planned this vacation that there would be anyone to miss. I bought my ticket in February and my first date with Tre was on March 17th. I didn't spend my whole time missing him. Believe me I enjoyed paradise to its fullest, but there were moments I wish I could have shared with him. Like when I saw dolphins or went surfing or when I walked along the beach watching the stars grace the night sky.

I missed Tre', but not having him there didn't destroy my experience. I was there with one of my best friends and had a great time with her. I've been in relationships in the past that ruined the time I spent apart from that person. In those relationships the fact that person wasn't there caused a walk on the beach in paradise to seem less valuable than if they were. I like that I don't feel that way now. That value now for me stems from something much deeper.

I wanted to spend some time thinking about my future while in Hawaii. It didn't really happen. I have a couple of directions that I could take educationally, but I feel like I need to wait right now. The only answer I got when I lifted these questions in prayer was, "Do what you love." Rather cryptic and directionless if you ask me.

Well, what do I love? That question alone poses the biggest threat to my future.

My first drink...

2006-05-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

in Hawaii. Sarah and I stepped into Jaimeson cafe' off of the North Shore after spotting sea turtles riding the waves in front of our sun worshiping spot.

Cute pictures

2006-05-23T12:28:00.000-07:00

This is a cute picture of Sarah and me. Our hair is dancing on the Hawaiian breeze as we inch in closer to the Duke of Surfing.

Excited to be going to Hawaii

2006-05-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture taken of us just before we took off for Hawaii!

Fancy Dinner

2006-05-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

We had dinner on the Top of Waikiki. Some ordered dinners, some ordered appetizers. Daniel got a steak on a hot rock so we got to watch him cook and eat at the same time. It was a very tasty meal. I ordered the pork and got a huge portion - sooo delicious.

The Duke of Surfing

2006-05-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

So we found the Duke of Surfing and a webcam. Ric and Daniel are on the phone with their specail someone's while we get our picture taken with him. If you google Honolulu webcams you will be able to see this statue and whoever is getting a picture currently.

The Queen of Surfing

2006-05-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

I have been having so much fun in Hawaii! I am going surfing for the first time today in the afternoon. We had a fancy night out last night so here I am dressed up and posing.

Maifest

2006-05-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

It was such a beautiful clear day. The little town of Levinworth is surrounded by beautiful snowcapped mountains on either side. We had breakfast and then strolled through the town center. Young and old were dressed in official Levinworth attire as they prepared to show off traditional dances and May-pole festivities. It was such a beautiful morning. This picture is of Tre, me, my Dad, and Luann as we waited for the kegs to be unleashed. Actually, there was no unleashing -- but it's a cute shot nontheless.

Traveling

2006-05-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of Tre and I during our whirlwind weekend of visiting family and friends. Sorry for my mid-drift, it was entirely unintentional, but I don't really think it's too distracting. I think it's showing because I had just had an amazing strawberry and whipcream covered waffel at Sandy's Waffel Haus. You probably didn't even notice until you read this caption. Anyways, it was good times with the parents and my boyfriend.

Hiking in the Woods

2006-05-15T16:00:00.000-07:00

I love to hike in the mountains with people that I love. I took this shot when I was on a jaunt through the woods with some of my favorite people. We stopped at overlooks, streams, and rock formations to read about God and his creation.

Watch Out -- the 80s are back!

2006-05-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

I know I look hot! This is me after the braids were no more --- There is only one other time in my life that I even remotely looked like this -- SMT. I'll have to find and scan that picture -- it is just too good.

2006-05-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

So, I think I might begin using this blog as a real means to communicate. I've had this site for about eight months now, but have not really known how to use it. A number of my friends, however, use blogger and well, if they can do it so can I.

School is ending this week and I'm really not sure what comes next for me. I really don't want to waste my time taking classes that aren't benefiting who I am and what I want to do in life. I've wanted to be a writer for longer than I've been able to write. I used to "pretend" write -- I would make scribbles and dot some i's and cross some t's. I have always loved stories and I want to write and publish some day. I was a little discouraged when I wasn't accepted at PSU. I had a great application with letters from Faculty that work there and yet I still wasn't accepted. It's not so much the rejection as the hault in my plans that leave me wondering where to go from here. Should I just write and not pursue further education at this point?

I've had an opportunity to teach at my church and that's been fantastic, although between work and school I have struggled to find time to do the outside work the class needs in order to thrive. I have wanted to go to Butler University since I was accepted in March of 2003. I was all lined up to go too, ticket paid for, books for the semester bought. My husband at the time encouraging me to go - and then I found out the real reason for his support. He wanted me gone so he could spend time with his girlfriend. I felt guilty for even wanting to go to school. The only problem with Butler University is that it is in Indinapolis, Indiana. Otherwise, I would be there in a heartbeat.

The potential for further education here is dwindeling. I am not impressed with the offerings of the Seminary I've been attending and I don't feel like it is bettering my person to go there. The Psychology teacher here on campus has been trying to work with me for about a year and has recently extended a position to work in his office. Counseling --I always laid that thought to rest because there are so many wannabe counselors out there. But, what if I could do that? What if I could help people realize foundational truths about their lives and inspire them to resolve their issues and keep truckin on? That is what I hope to do through writing; that is what I've been able to do through my writing class. Maybe that is a possible new direction for me.

I also have a new relationship in my life and I don't want that to just be another "thing" to have to do. I want to give an appropriate amount of attention to this person and this relationship. I don't want to fill up my days so that they are so thick the last thing I want to do is think through relationship issues. So, what to do with all of these ideas swimming in my head? Rest, pray, do what needs to be done, and find time to wrestle through these thoughts.

Hawaii!

2006-05-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

Each Day is Bringing Me Closer to Hawaii

Hawaii

2006-05-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

So, this is a picture of the Hawaiian Island that Sarah and I will be staying at at the end of this month. We will be sleeping on the North Shore and may even go sky diving.

Me at work

2006-05-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

This is a random picture Dave Hardy took of me at my desk. Busy...I'm sure.

Tre's answer

2006-04-14T11:42:00.000-07:00

2006-04-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Hello! This is me on my first day of school. I guess I still use the expression today when I'm thinking really hard. I love the saddle shoes -- the pink backpack is really me though. I wouldn't go anywhere without something pink within close proximety. In fact, I was probably wearing pink underwear.

Come as you are

UK Music Video Sign Language- click this for link to video

We've moved!

Dreaming

Super Heroes

Our costumes for the Super-Hero bowling night for our church.

My favorite Hymn

Lyrics to "How deep the Father's love for us"How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen

OneBring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom.